Gary The Buck

Gary The Buck
I am a handsome bitch

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Gary The Buck....The New Dr. Phil?

Hey!!!
Gary the Buck here.  It's been a long time and I wanted to catch all of you up on what's happening in Craig's basement, in my head, and in the world of The Rockford Mules.  First The Mules have been busy...playing shows, writing new music, and for the month of Sept. they are playing free shows every Sunday at Cause Spirits and Sound Bar in Minneapolis, MN.  Enough about them.  I want to talk about me and the service I will be providing all of you lost and wandering souls out there.
Starting now I will be offering my unique perspective on all things....yes, all things.  If you have problems with a doe that you can't quite wrap your rack around, I can help.  If your 401K is not maintaining it's value and you need to be talked off of a ledge, I can help.  If your hoof fetish is out of control and it's ruining your marriage, I can help.  You can see where this is going.  All you need to do is post a question and I will answer it with my vast knowledge of everything and my gift of guidance. Let's start out with an example.  I pulled this question from an Ann Landers column.  I won't bother posting Ann's response
Dear Ann Landers: I belong to an informal dinner club that meets once a month for dinner in one of our homes. One of the women has appointed herself "social director" and is making our lives miserable.
"Irene" phones everyone to remind them of the upcoming dinner plans, which is fine. The problem is that she always tells the hostess what to serve. She does not have food allergies or any medical problems; she just likes certain things. Irene eats enough for two people, so making an extra dish for her is a major annoyance.
The rest of us in the group do not want to disband, and Irene would be terribly hurt if we excluded her. Any suggestions? — Too Much Cooking in Alabama

Dear Too Much Cooking In Alabama,
First off, I don't think that is your real name.  Secondly your first problem is that you belong to a dinner club.  Nobody should do anything that lame.  Clubs should be cool things like motorcycle club, or football club, maybe even stand around the salt lick club.  Those are cool things.  Dinner clubs are dumb and so are you for belonging to them.  You belong to a dinner club (lol) and you are complaining about someone eating food and you having to prepare it.  Isn't that the point to a fucking dinner club, as dumb as it is?  My advice?  Quit the stupid club and let Irene make her own food and eat herself to death.  Oh yeah, and get a real hobby dummy.

You're Welcome,
Gary the Buck

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